Jaggers x Lines "Burn Cycle"
Art As a Release for Mental Health
10.06.18
Poetry by: Eliana Gray
Pop Duo: Jaggers x Lines (Eliana Gray and Morgan Smillie)
Photographer: Jessica Thompson-Carr
Burn Cycle
There was this idea that if I put my trauma aside I’d be able to finally live.
Expunge the rotted core and the tree will flower- makes no botanical sense and yet I continue to rotate. Back and back again to the place where something is wrong with me.
Because, if it wasn’t, why would I be going to therapy?
Why would black ink start to slip between my pores and coat an unseeable slick?
Why would everyone who touches me come away marked?
Why would I hate myself so much if something wasn’t, really, truly wrong with me?
Because I was taught
Because I’m a fast learner
Because even the most un-attentive student will believe a lesson that’s repeated to them daily.
You’re too much
(You’re not enough)
This is your fault
(It’s all your fault)
This is just to say:
Therapy is a process of un-learning, not fixing
I’m not broken, I had dangerous teachers.
This is just to say:
A tree with a hollow core will continue to produce fruit.
So I to go to a room, soak my brain in words other than wrong. Learn to pretend to love myself. Flex the sentence in my mouth like a tongue I’ve no idea to use. A limp and heavy muscle made of fibres not my own.
But it’s working. Letters dropping slowly like saliva. Alphabet on the floor around me I take my hand
Wipe the ink off my skin and start writing.
-Eliana Gray
Jaggers x Lines is the Aotearoa alt-pop duo of Eliana Gray & Morgan Smillie. The duo’s debut album Burn Cycle is out on all platforms and is a chaotically joyous, pop-minded album that lyrically explores Gray’s journey of healing from trauma.
Check Out Their Latest Album on
Spotify:
http://open.spotify.com/album/0QxY1IXDeFXSVvf9fbJfTM
iTunes:
https://geo.itunes.apple.com/nz/album/id1436138754?at=1l3v9Tx&app=itunes
Apple Music:
https://geo.itunes.apple.com/nz/album/id1436138754?at=10lrHH&app=music